Cheliax, Empire of Devils

Damn Magical Orcs

[Report for Sir Ivan, From Vess]

So off they go the banquet, leaving Squire Patroklos Alexander and I to watch the Fort. Easy peasy, right? Wrong! WTF happens?! We have some fancy pantsy guy show up and say that he wants to “map out our Fort;” says its “for the curators.” I was naturally suspicious; because, seriously, the boss ain’t gone for more than what… an hour or two before this guy shows up? But Patroklos convinces me that there is no harm that could come of this; that the Boss would even be happy to have it mapped out…

Seriously the last time I am taking his advice for anything

So, I am giving him vague answers because, to be honest, half this stuff around here I don’t know what they are for, nor do I much care. It ain’t the forge, my room, mess hall, or HQ room. I don’t go in it. But this guy gave me the heebee geebees you know? But, it got really weird when those damn dogs started growling and barking at us. At first, I thought it was just me, ’cause they are always picking a fight with me. But this time it was the guy they were growling at. He pulled out raw meat and said he was feeding the dogs his “lunch”…

For real dude?

So then I was kind of creeped out and even more leery then he started asking about how many people we had, and what each of these buildings where designed for.. we had a small verbal altercation. which ended with me telling him to leave. as soon as he made it out the gate he turned on me and pulled out a scroll from his bag. started chant, it sounded creepily familiar… so I did what any good upstanding citizen in my mind would do.. I shot the scroll.

Bwahahah you should have seen his face it was hilarious he was so mad! But then he dropped his face! like it just melted away showing a Orc underneath! I have seen some things in my life but that took the cake there man…. Anyways so he started chanting again, at this point I’m getting mad, you know. So, I pistol whipped him right in the face, but the damn thing was expecting it; just moved a inch in time…

Avoiding the blow.

Then he scrambled to get away from me and he casted protectively watching my every move dancing with me till the asshole went invisible! He, like, just freaking disappeared! Now I was fucking pissed, so I may have thrown a bomb at where he was standing…

Because, why the fuck not?

But the fucker expected it again… I tried to follow him, but I couldn’t see him. But I’d be damned if I didn’t try. I even took the damn bear with me! We found the body of the actual guy sent to map the area. So, I brought him back to the Fort and waited for Boss man to get back.



Nice incorporation of animal animosity of yourself, and that of the orc.

Damn Magical Orcs

why thank you good sir!

Damn Magical Orcs

I added some “emotional cut scenes” in the way of animated gifs. I figured it helps visually emphasize your words.

Damn Magical Orcs
Brendon_Mize Brendon_Mize

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